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Letter to Councilman LaBonge
Real People as Fictional Characters
Female Actors, Part Two
One Culture Hero Award
Adelante Gay Pride Gala
Best Work of Fiction?
Tom of Finland: Sexual Liberator or Enslaver
Lying Writers
Review of The Man Who Invented Rock Hudson
Promiscuous Thoughts
A Crime of the Heart
A Letter to Michael Silverblatt
"Have you no decency, sir?"
Political Incorrectness: Female Actors and Trojans
He Hugged Moms and Dads
What is a Girly Man?
Review of Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
From Sunset Boulevard to Mulholland Drive
The Gay Mammies
A Writer Protests
Review of Beyond Paradise: The Life of Ramon Novarro
A Spirit Preserved in 'Amber'
The Supreme Court Case
Review of Live from Golgotha: The Gospel According to Gore Vidal
Review of Lost Years: A Memoir 1945-1951 by Christopher Isherwood
Review of Out For Good
Review of Hoyt Street: an Autobiography
Review of Sergei Eisenstein: A Life in Conflict.
Review of Places Left Unfinished at the Time of Creation
Review of Whores for Gloria
Muscles and Mascara
Review of "Blonde"
Brother Paul, Sister Jan, Brother Hinn, God and the Folks
Advice to the Next Generation
Sins of the Fathers
Beatin' Around the Bush

Cruise Not Gay! The Judge Has Spoken

The Horror, The Horror
LA--a Cliché?
Dominick, Mark & Orenthal
Holy Drag!
Ms. Hill & Mr. Tom
Mrs. guy Ritchie 
Supreme Court 
Tom Cruise 
Eminem 
New Times Article 


  
  
  
  
  
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The Gay Mammies

They rush,
They gush,
They wiggle,
They giggle ‘n jiggle,

Yes, here they come, five gay mammies, "the fab five" of television, eager to contribute their "gay eye" to the master, "the straight guy," yearning to serve him. Yes, here they come.

Bouncin'
'n flouncing
Prancin'
'n dancin',
Ready to dress him,
Press him,
Bless him.
They swish,
They dish (each other),
They bumble (gayly)
They fumble (gayly),
They coo,
Even moo (like baby cows)
and they do (everything for the "straight guy"),
They mince.
They evince (joy at the prospect of pleasing).
They flutter,
They butter (him up)
The "straight guy" basks in all this faggoty attention.
He aw-shucks,
He star-bucks,
He aw-man's.
Imagining fans.
The five encourage,
He girds his courage,
Then relents,
Drops his pants,
They faint,
But they ain't (interested in other than dressing him up).
He'll allow,
They bow.
They fawn,
He yawns (in a manly way),
He mutters (in manly regard for all this faggoty attention)
They shudder (in awe of all this wondrous straightness)
Into his room, five gay nannies bounce, prancin' and dancin'.
He swaggers,
He staggers (in a manly way into his apartment, now bursting with fab gayety).
He disdains (subtly, in a manly way).
Oh, he reigns!
Then she enters:
She gasps,
He grasps (her in a manly way)
They kiss,
Express straight bliss.
The mammies watch on television.
They applaud,
They laud,
They gush,
They blush (at the beauty of straight romance),
They kiss (each other in a sisterly way),
Express gay bliss.
They celebrate!
But never even masturbate.
Because sex is for the straight guy; and the fab five fawning gay mannies are in the world only to please him.
Now there they go,
Talking about day glo'
Prancin' and dancin'...

* * *

Next horror?
The dyke eye for the straight chick?
The white eye for the black dude?
The goy eye for the ... Jewish boy?

John Rechy
May 2004
Los Angeles, California


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